* Don't take up diving to get a suntan.

* People who look good with a mask on are usually ugly without one.
* Inverse Law of Patches: A diver's ability is inversely proportional to the number of patches they wear
* Diving unprotected with a stranger is like having unprotected sex with a stranger.
* Never clear a snorkel on a Mexican Federale'
* Anyone who says they have never been afraid while diving hasn't been diving or is a bad liar.
* Never use a sun intensifier lotion within 30 miles of the Equator.
* People say the funniest things when you shut their air off.
* Never have sex underwater above a coral reef.
* Dry Suits and Beers do not mix
* Buddies are never where you need them to be.
* You WILL run out of battery before the Whale Shark Swims By